trust?

"Trust is a funny thing. I generally trust people. I give most people the benefit of the doubt.  But when that trust is broken, when that trust is lost, to me it is gone forever.

 I may still talk to you, joke around with you, and even forgive you. But I will never trust you again. Lost trust is a big issue with many relationships that I have.  I have a long memory. I am a grudge holder.

 I may not remind you of it everyday but I remember the hurt that was caused. I try to ensure that the person that caused the hurt will never have the opportunity to hurt me again.

 I am not vindictive, I am not vengeful, but if the occasion calls, I am not at that point in my life that I can be “the bigger person” and turn the other cheek. I have a sharp tongue, I don't fight fair, and many times it is hard for me to take full responsibility for my actions.  I know when i'm wrong. I can admit when I am wrong, but I am a justifier .

 I did this because you did that. Its a problem. I speak before I think. I react instead of responding. At the end of the day I am starting to realize that these actions are hurting me, more that the person that I am trying to hurt. So every day I deal with my trust issues. Today didn't go so well. Hopefully tomorrow will be better."

fake? menipu? sama ke?

bagi aku la kan fake tu tak sama pun dengan menipu,

sebab fake tu macam kau pura2, contoh nya macam kau pura2 jadi baik, alim and so on tau,

and menipu pulak bila kau tipu orang lain macam kau tipu birthday kau ke, status kau, or cerita2 kau ke etc...

paham tak? 

faking yourself just to impress others?

refuse to tell the truth and tell a lie?

ape kau rasa bila kau sendiri yang kene tipu, and dapat tau kawan kau tu actually fake nak mampos, depan2 kemain lagi baik, tapi kat belakang perghhh, mengutuk tahap tak ingat?

kau suka ke kalau orang tipu kau? 

and till now, aku still lagi tak faham kenape someone tu, dia tak suka orang buat something tu kat dia, tapi bila dia buat orang dia rase seronok/puas hati, contoh nye macam

dia tak suka orang tipu dia, tapi dia banyak je tipu orang, 

please la, hidup lagi orang macam ni kat dunia ni ek?

you have to remember that what you give you get back, 

cctv Allah tu kat merata,  balasan Dia tu anytime je, 

Allah tu Maha Adil, jangan risau, mungkin kau tak rase balasan dia tu sekarang,

neraca Allah tu ada, atas bahu kiri kanan tu pun selalu ade pendamping,

ma selalu pesan 

"sekali kau buat jahat orang, berkali-kali Dia boleh balas balik kat kau"

main kan perasaan orang, tipu dia, sakit kan hati dia, permainkan dia, jadi playboy/playgirl,

huh, kelakar sangat kalau ade orang macam ni, 

rase macam nak gelak besar2 je kat muka orang macam ni,

kesian pun ade jugak,

dah2 la tu buat keje tak senonoh cenggitu sayang2 oi, 

buat keje berfaedah sikit please, 

yeee, aku ni pun takde la baik sangat hah, tapi inshaa Allah, i'm trying to change myself to be a better person, a better muslimah (*mohon doakan)

if ade salah silap aku tu, mohon tegur2, (*tapi dengan cara berhikmah please, takut nanti kang ade yang memberontak, hurmm manusia kann,)

dah, till here, 

wassalam.

p/s: excuse my kemerepekan di pagi hari, white coffee punye pasal sampai takboleh nak tido langsung

and merepek di blog ni :p

biar gambar berbicara :) kehidupan di UTHM

thanks for those who always be with me till today, esp my GTJ girls, yes! banyak sangat benda belajar kat sini, bukan setakat yang belajar dalam kelas je, pasal friendship, trust, loyal etc, Alhamdulillah.....