trust?

"Trust is a funny thing. I generally trust people. I give most people the benefit of the doubt.  But when that trust is broken, when that trust is lost, to me it is gone forever.

 I may still talk to you, joke around with you, and even forgive you. But I will never trust you again. Lost trust is a big issue with many relationships that I have.  I have a long memory. I am a grudge holder.

 I may not remind you of it everyday but I remember the hurt that was caused. I try to ensure that the person that caused the hurt will never have the opportunity to hurt me again.

 I am not vindictive, I am not vengeful, but if the occasion calls, I am not at that point in my life that I can be “the bigger person” and turn the other cheek. I have a sharp tongue, I don't fight fair, and many times it is hard for me to take full responsibility for my actions.  I know when i'm wrong. I can admit when I am wrong, but I am a justifier .

 I did this because you did that. Its a problem. I speak before I think. I react instead of responding. At the end of the day I am starting to realize that these actions are hurting me, more that the person that I am trying to hurt. So every day I deal with my trust issues. Today didn't go so well. Hopefully tomorrow will be better."